The Importance of Eye Contact

The Importance of Eye Contact

In Communication, just how important is eye contact?  Only 10% of how we understand what is being said comes from the actual words spoken.  That means roughly 90% of how we understand each other is derived from non-verbal cues including body language, tone of voice, inflection and context.  Medical scientist have confirmed that the human brain is anatomically hardwired to "read" the face.  More and more we are realizing the important role eye contact has in how we understand the message.

Here are some very real and useful tips for mastering eye contact.

1.  Use eye contact to make initial contact:  Keep in mind that communication between people happens simultaneously and begins once a person perceives that they are BEING perceived.  In other words, once I notice that you are noticing me, we are officially in communication (even if we never speak)!  This can happen seconds, minutes or even hours before a word is ever spoken, so eye contact is often instrumental in establishing the "starting point" of communication and can create a doorway to a smoother introduction between people.

2.  Observe eye messages:  One of the single most important aspect of communication is knowing your audience and what better way to gauge your audience than to utilize eye contact?  Is your audience paying attention to your message?  Is your message effective?  Are your opening jokes funny?  Does your audience seem confused or unresponsive?  Observing eye messages will allow you to determine the answers to these questions and adjust your message midstream to make it more audience friendly.  

3.  Know When to make direct eye contact:  While direct eye contact can be great, in American society direct eye contact is a nonverbal signal that encourages talking.  Thus, when asking a question of the group, look only at those whom you wish to answer.

4. Sustained eye contact is just creepy:  Nothing makes a person more nervous or uncomfortable than sustained, prolonged eye contact.  Observe people talking and you will notice that people often "check in" with each other by making direct eye contact for a few seconds and then look elsewhere.  Also, people tend to re-establish eye contact when an important point is made, a question is asked or a vocal inflection elicits a response.  Perfect this technique through observation of others.

5.  Creating Rapport:  Often, establishing eye contact can generate a kind of rapport; a subconscious feeling of being "in sync" with another person.  This feeling can often make you seem "likable" or create a feeling of ease and comfort.

6.  Treat others as you would have them treat you:  In other words, just as you utilize eye contact to make sure your message is being received, use it to show you are attentive and/or that you understand what is being said.  It is also a good way to show confusion or elicit an answer to a question without interrupting the speaker mid-sentence (assuming they are practicing good eye contact habits as well).

7.  "Watch your eyeballs":  Of course this is physically impossible, so ask a friend or co-worker to critique your use of eye contact during the preparation phase of your presentation or interview.  

8.  Dramatic Effect:  In public speaking, nothing is more effective than asking a rhetorical question and then looking at someone as if you expect them to have an answer or making a powerful statement while making eye contact with an individual.  Use this sparingly but methodically and you will have a captivated audience.

*Warning!  American audiences value eye contact and generally regard it as showing confidence and trustworthiness (attributes valued in American culture).  Rules and Etiquette regarding eye contact are very much culturally based and these suggestions are for American Audiences only.  Remember to adjust your message to your audience and take this into account in all cases.

Joke of The Day

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I Wonder if He's Insured for This...